Return!

Well, ladies and gentlemen. I AM BACK! 
It's been almost an entire year. Did you miss me?
*** If you didn't.... you wouldn't be reading this. Right!?

So, what has happened in the last year. Oh, where do I begin.....

I'll make a list. (I freaking love lists.)

1. I had a baby! Hooray!
My beautiful bouncing baby girl was born in December. She is perfect, by the way. Duh! She is a blonde haired, blue eyed adorable bunch of sass. She is getting soooo big! We are coming up on her first birthday way too quickly :( Waaaaaah! Mama wants her to stay little forever! Well, maybe not forever, forever. But, if time could slow down a tiny little bit, I would appreciate it.....

2. I started babysitting out of my home. Even though it was short lived, it was well worth it. Evie and I both benefited immensely from the experience. Plus, it showed me that I CAN still be active and social while toting around two children. Go me!

3. Made some friends, lost some friends. You know how that goes. As the world turns, is the saying... I think. Pretty sure. Anyway, another good learning experience. Once you have another human being to worry about, it becomes less about the appearances and more about the real-ness. Does that makes sense? If not, you may want to use the urban dictionary to look up the word twunt. Then check to see if your picture is there. Good luck to you on your journey. 

Now, don't get your panties in a bunch. I was kidding. It's all for the blog. Do you people think anyone would read this if I wasn't an ass? Naaaah. Plus, I didn't actually upload a picture to urban dictionary. Even though that would be awesome.

4. Found an amazing play group. I love all of the moms and kids at play group. How is that even possible!? I don't generally like people, yet all of these moms rock. They are the most supportive and inspiring group of people I've ever met. Awesome.

5. (This is probably the one you have been waiting for.)

My husband got a new job and  WE MOVED TO A NEW STATE! Whew. Talk about stressful. In order to do so, hub had to quit his old job. Gulp. Having a jobless husband is nerve wracking. Then we had to finish, oh, about 1 million house projects that had been put on hold when the baby was born. Whoops. That's "our bad". Then, we had to pack up our entire lives and leave them in Ohio while we moved to NC. So, needless to say. I now know how it feels to be a vagrant. We literally had nothing except a blow up mattress, a pack and play and some crap I bought at the dollar store. I am SO glad we are past that point and all of our crap is now in NC. (Even though it is now taking up our entire living room and is stacked from floor to ceiling...)

6. We are buying a house! Woo hoo! I can't even explain how happy I am to be living in a stable environment soon! Hooray for stability! The house is a fixer upper, but once again, a great investment. Friends and family. Come visit! We live in a beautiful city, with great resources. Not to mention we are pretty darn close to the beach AAANNNDD a ton of outlets (Christmas shopping, anyone?).

So, there it is. A summary of our 2014. I can't even explain how much I am SO looking forward to 2015. Even though 2014 brought about a lot of positive changes, they are more long term. So, the NOW pretty much sucked all year. It makes me sad, because 2014 was really the year that my baby girl grew up (even though she was born last year.). Which means, this year should have been awesome! But, as you know... being a grown up blows. It does. There is no way around it. It's hard and I hate it. Uuuugghhhh. Why didn't anyone tell me when I was 5 that THOSE were the glory years!? WHY!? Enjoy it while you can, kids.

When you hit a rough patch. There is no where to go, but forward. Thanks, Disney, for the perfectly quotable quote for this situation.

See ya next time, fishes. Hopefully it won't take me another year to crank out one of these bad boys...

Long Lost Blogger...Lazy Post

I apologize, online world, for my absence. I have been immersed in a world filled with diapers, nipple cream and the unknown. My hubby and I have been suuuuper busy preparing for the arrival of our baby girl. While that may not seem like a full time job.... it is. We have painted her room (several times), purchased and painted her furniture, assembled furniture, made artwork for her walls and have been shopping several times for essential baby items. Whew! Not to mention, I am pretty darn pregnant (8 months)
and often swollen to the point where I feel like I am a giant not-so-cute water balloon.

I came across this little gem today while scrolling around on social media... Thank you, MSN.com
.http://now.msn.com/pennsylvania-touching-pregnant-bellies-illegal
While I don't have an issue with people touching my belly, I got a good laugh out of it. I mean, it is a serious problem, but it makes me laugh that people have such troubles keeping their hands to themselves. I can honestly say, I have NEVER wanted to touch a stranger, or have actually purposely touched a stranger... or rubbed a stranger's belly. It's so weird. 

Oh, and I have been busy making apple everything. Hubby and I went to the apple orchard on Sweetest Day and I now have an entire bushel of apples. Just in case you were wondering...homemade applesauce IS actually everything you have ever dreamed of.

P.S. Don't be a d*$#. Don't forget to hand out candy on Trick or Treat night! 

Motto of the moment: Can't reach it; don't need it.

WOW! I have been slacking. You would think that with all of this time at home I would have time to type a little on the computer... but no. You would be surprised how the time gets away from you when you step up into the "Expert time waster" category.

Let's recap the time that I have spent away...
1. My hubby and I painted the nursery.
2. My hubby and I started and are currently painting the dressers for the nursery.
3. My hubby and I went to Boston.
4. I am now officially in the third trimester.
5. We got to see our baby girl in a 3d/4d ultrasound!
6. My hubby graduated with his B.S!!!
7. I am super excited about the planning of my baby showers!

So many amazing things are happening in our lives right now. It's nice sometimes to see these things in a list form because it really makes you realize how many things you have to be thankful for. 

You know, I know that sometimes I make it seem as if my life is perfect (reality check). This has really stuck with me. Not in a good way, not in a bad way. Just in a... think about it kind of way. Some days this makes me feel extremely happy and reminds me to feel thankful, because obviously I have a lot to be thankful for. Some days this makes me sad, because I feel like people think that I do not have my own personal struggles. No one has a perfect life, no one has perfect relationships and no one should have to live up to that standard, self imposed or not. Let me tell you a little bit about why my life is NOT perfect...

1. I got a cold. Now, you might this this is silly. But, when you are pregnant... being sick is the worst possible f$#@ing thing on the planet. I turned into a whiny, emotional, irritable pile of useless. I honestly don't know how my husband made it through. What a brave, brave man. I think that being sick while you are pregnant shouldn't be allowed. I mean, your body is already so busy, it's not fair to hand it another work load on top of growing a human. Seriously. I don't know how people who are sick, sick while pregnant do it. (Claps hands) Good for you!.... not meant sarcastically.

2. Pregnancy is not always cute. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant. It is my favorite thing in the whole wide world ( I think I have infertility to thank for that ). But, the sad truth is, that it isn't always pretty. You want to talk about how my face has decided that dark spots are cool? Or about how I can't reach my legs to shave them? Or how I PEED WHEN I SNEEZED the other day. Dear God. I had forgotten about the snissing. How could I forget. That has been my favorite dislikable pregnancy symptom so far. Why? Because it is so damn funny. Who doesn't laugh when someone sneezes and pees? If you don't, you have no soul.

3. I am freaking out. I am losing my mind about packing a hospital bag. Like, bat shit crazy. I have been stressing out about which kaftan is going to make me look less fat after I give birth, which face wipes will be more calming and which snacks will stop me from becoming the hulk at 3am. Do YOU know why I am freaking out? Do you? Because, I finally figured it out the other day. It is not the packing, it is not the outfit or the wipes, or the snacks. It is the fact that when I go into the hospital I will be leaving with a baby. Cold hard fact. That is the day my life officially changes forever. This girl, who loves to be prepared for EVERYTHING, cannot prepare for that. I cannot possibly prepare myself for the love I am going to feel for this little girl. I cannot prepare for the fear I am going to feel when I put her in the car to bring her home. I cannot prepare for the emotional rollercoaster I will be riding on through the whole experience. How terrifying is that!?

I think I am going to stop at three. I don't think that this blog should always be about negative things. I think that those things are enough of a peek into real life. Now, you can go back to thinking I wear my rose colored sunglasses at night. (Do you like what I did there?)

One more thing... I ordered my diaper bag off of Zappos the other night.... AND I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY FREAKING EXCITED for it to get here. Really.

Breast Friends

How do I start a post that talks A LOT about boobs. Hmm... let's let Ryan Gosling help us through this one. PART 1:

Well, as the time flies by I have been thinking a lot about how I am going to feed the baby once she arrives. There are so many options. 

Option 1: Breastfeed exclusively

Option 2: Formula feed exclusively

Option 3: Pump and bottle feed

Option 4: Breastfeed and pump/bottle feed

Option 5: Any of the above options combined in a crazy way that I have not thought of

My head is spinning. 

After a nice chat with my hubby pretty early on we decided that option 1 or option 4 would work best for us. Why not feed your child something that is FREE? Can't argue with that. Especially if I am at home with the baby the majority of the time. It only makes sense. I know, I know, many of you would argue. (insert high pitched nasally voice) "Breastfeeding or pumping isn't always an option. Tons of people can't do it." And do you know what I say to that? F- off. If it happens, it happens. It won't be the end of the world, but I am at least going to give it my best. 

Now, there is A LOT that I don't know about breastfeeding. I have heard many things from many people. But quite honestly unless you have legitimate and friendly advice for my boobs and I.... don't even go there. I don't want to hear about how hard it was for you, how sore you were, how miserable, how inconvenient it was. It is not going to change my mind and quite honestly I feel as though that crosses a line.

PART 2: I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR NEGATIVE HORROR STORIES

It is inappropriate for you to say anything negative to me about pregnancy/birth/feeding/babies at this point. I'm pretty darn committed. So keep it to yourself. It's not funny to tell me horrible things and then tell me that "you are sure that those things won't happen to me." Not cool.

On the flip side. Like I mentioned earlier. I have NO idea what I'm doing as far as breastfeeding goes. I have a lot of experience taking care of children. I can play with them, teach them, change diapers, bathe them, help them sleep, etc. But, never in my life have I fed a child with an appendage or part of my body. Ever. It's a pretty daunting task. So, if you have helpful and insightful advice on how I can make breastfeeding easier for myself and my child. Please, advise away. Message me, text me, call me or leave a comment on here. Whatever is easiest.

Back to PART 1: Jumping all over the place. Yikes. 

Well, this is initially what made me want to write this particular post. I was searching on the Internet for information about breastfeeding when I came upon a certain story. It was about how a woman was breastfeeding her infant in the food court of a mall. She was approached by several people who were very agitated and aggressive and asked her to leave or feed her baby in the bathroom.

WOAH. Seriously?

First of all... when has America EVER, EVER been 

offended by boobs. For f&%$s sake. This is 

completely ludicrous. 

Check out any playboy or Sports Illustrated (or this lady to the left.)

Second of all.... it is ILLEGAL to ask a woman to leave because she is breastfeeding her child.

My blood was boiling. Now, don't get me wrong. I think it is a little weird when someone just whips out a boob, plops that sucker out of the top of her shirt and starts feeding her child. I get a little weirded out. But,

it is her prerogative. Maybe she enjoys seeing the looks of horror as people see parts of her they hoped to God they would never see. I don't know. While I plan to breastfeed my child, I do not plan to enroll myself in the boob plopping club. A nice cover will do. If I am using that cover I will assume that I can (and will) breastfeed my baby where ever I please. (Please note, I will only be using the cover in public because I am a wimpy lame ass who is not self confident enough to whip out a breast). I WILL NEVER FEED MY CHILD IN A NASTY PUBLIC RESTROOM. That is so disgusting. Would you eat in a public restroom?!? Would you honestly take your pizza slice, head on over to the nearest public restroom, sit on the toilet and feed yourself? Hell no you wouldn't.

Since I have made the decision to breastfeed (and pump) I feel like I have a few more options than mothers who only breastfeed. Thank goodness, because I honestly have anxiety about feeding my child already. If people are that horrible to breastfeeding mothers, how horrible are they going to be to me!? I absolutely hate that this is a factor that many new mothers have to consider when deciding whether or not to breastfeed their child. It should NOT be about who they are going to offend, but rather about what choice is the best choice for their child.

Sigh. I think I may have lost all faith in humanity.

PINK!

Well friends, it has been a while. Sorry about that. I've been super busy with things in the F household! Let me start at the beginning. 

First, my hubby and I went in for our anatomy scan and quad screen on the 11th. Both were perfect and Baby F is a healthy little bug! Yay! It was so amazing to see he/she on the screen while the tech was trying to get measurements. Baby is so active, flipping and moving all over the place. At one point I'm pretty sure the tech was digging at my spine she was pushing so hard into my belly, trying to get the baby to move. I CAN'T WAIT until our next ultrasound appointment! I have a regular belly apt mid August and there is a slight chance that they will do another one then. The tech was having trouble getting all of the measurements she needed lol. If not, we are having one done in September! 

Second, we had our SEX PARTY (hehe) on the 14th. What an experience. We had the tech write down the sex of the baby and put it into an envelope. Then we gave the envelope to The Cupcake Brewer  https://www.facebook.com/CupcakeBrewer (who makes the yummiest cake I've ever had). She was so great! She made us an adorable cake to match our lips and mustache theme. She made the inside of the cake the symbolic color of the sex of the baby. Blue for boy and pink for girl. The cake was...

PINK! Hooray! Now, hopefully she doesn't grow a penis before she is born. *crosses fingers* Keep those fingers crossed until December... November... hopefully December :)

Third, I turned 25! Woo hoo! I officially feel old-ish. I was filling something out online the other day and I am no longer in the 18-24 range. I'm in the 25-31 range (sniff). Growing up is so not as cool as I thought it would be. Ugh.

Oh, back to my beautiful, smart, amazing baby girl. She has started kicking hard enough that Daddy got to feel her kick on Friday night! It was so great to be able to have him feel her for the first time. Of course, I cried. Just a little. I kept it in check. I love seeing his face light up when I tell him that she is just like him with her long legs. (I personally think she looks like him too, but it's a little early). He gets such a kick out of knowing that she is on one side of my belly or the other, that she is kicking or rolling. He was pushing on my belly (I almost typo-ed punching for pushing... that would have been interesting) yesterday and felt something like an elbow or knee! So cool.

Before I go, I have a very important announcement to make. TODAY marks the beginning of week 20! Baby girl is officially halfway cooked! I can't believe how fast it has gone and that in 20 (or less) weeks we will be meeting our new baby girl!

Now that we have reached the end of this post. I have gone back and read it again, and I feel as though I need to apologize. I was all over the place, there was lack of humor and no direction to speak of. Oh well, better luck next time!

Hahahaha....love thyself

Well, let me tell you. My mind is blown. I never thought that I would be one of those people who gets pregnant and life turns upside down. Turns out, I was wrong. First of all, I think I'm being overly dramatic (per usual these days) but, to be fair this whole pregnancy thing did come at a very life changing-y time for me. Finishing college after attending for 8 years, not working for the first time in my teen/adult life and becoming a Mom all at once is a little much to wrap my brain around.

Aaaaannnnddd whining time is over. 

Okay, now a very important question. I want you to think about this long and hard. Really use your brain. Possibly even sleep on it.
Ready?
If this blog was about how much I loved myself and how great/wonderful/fabulous/terrific my life was, would you still read it? I wouldn't. Point made.
If you sleep on this, mull it over and decide that, yes you really would keep reading... well...

Sometimes I feel that my humor is mis-interpreted. Most of the time I sound horribly pissed off, when in fact... I just think the whole thing is humerous in a twisted sort of way. There are many people who understand and there are just as many people who shake their heads. That's okay. But, I'm going to keep being me. 

So, since we have that cleared up.

Let me introduce you to my rock star of a fetus. This, ladies and gentlemen, is going to be THE smartest, most beautiful/handsome, best behaved, all around champion of a child that you and anyone else has ever seen. Are you ready?

 Are you ready for this? Only 16 weeks old and 
already rocking a winning heartbeat and doing one hell of a job growing appendages. Just look at that leg. What a beaut.

Click to hear the most awesome heartbeat ever

Ta da!

Need to smile?

If you are needing a little "pick me up" check out the video of my maltese puppy Lulu. 

On another note, I bought organic "cheetos" the other day at the grocery store because I am trying to be a little more ehh...health conscience (because the baby eats what I eat, blah, blah, blah). So, I bought organic "cheetos" which I tried today for lunch. They are NOT even close to cheetos. Organic fail. They are tasty... if you are super into Kraft Mac and Cheese. It's so weird, they taste exactly like hard Mac and Cheese. I eventually had to put them away because it was freaking me out. BUT! They still leave the yellowish orange cheese dust on your fingers, just like real cheetos. 

To be more serious, (this post is all over the place) I am having an internal conflict about looking for a job. I am really unsure if I am ready to commit. I know that a lot of people have to work while they are pregnant, I'm not saying that you shouldn't... I'm just not sure if I am ready to jump into a new position at a new place. Starting a new job is stressful enough, but also looking into childcare jobs. It gives me the heebie jeebies. I know I'm being super picky, but I was looking for something super part time and pretty non-committal. All of the places I have interviewed at are into super long term commitments and are kinda pushy when it comes to hours. Both of which, I don't know if I can bend on. I mean, when the baby comes, the baby comes. Nothing I can do there. And as for the hours... I have been in situations before where I was working more hours than I was comfortable with... and it doesn't end well. I hate to jump into a stressful situation in the middle of a pregnancy, especially when it is not necessary. 

Oh, Oh! AND. I have been looking for jobs via Craigslist....which drives me CRAZY! When posting an ad on Craigslist why don't any of these people mention what place they are representing? How am I supposed to know if I am interested if they don't say which childcare they are or where they are located!? Sigh, it gets worse. Then they email me saying they want me to come in for an interview "at my childcare center." Where the f%$@ is that!? Come on people, I shouldn't have to awkwardly ask you what place you are hiring for. Get with the program lol.

By the way, my hubby and I just celebrated our two year anniversary (he bought me a new pillow per the "second year = cotton" rule) sooo..... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US! :)