Our Baby Journey: Part 1

So this is one of those blog posts that you shouldn’t read if you don’t want to know the truth. There will be several of these as I post my story. But, let me explain why I feel like I need to put it all out there. When you are dealing with infertility it is often not something that you want to talk about with the people closest to you. For my husband and me, we felt that it would take away from the reveal when we actually were successful. Also, there is a feeling of embarrassment and inadequacy that comes hand in hand with infertility. That is hard. Really, really, hard to deal with.

This is really hard to explain. I’m sure anyone who has been through a difficult illness or something similar can understand. When dealing with infertility you start to realize that there is this whole world of people who are dealing with infertility as well. We used the Internet as a resource for most of our information, because there was no one to talk to. Even on the Internet the information was scarce. People just don’t want to share. When you are in the middle of this whole mess you hear about people who have stories that are more positive than yours and you think “they don’t have any clue what I’m going through” and you hear about people who are struggling so much more than you. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, you turn your head away from those people. You don’t want to acknowledge their struggles, because if you acknowledge their struggles you acknowledge that it could happen to you. You might have a long, difficult, heart breaking struggle and never end up successful. It’s a lot to swallow.

It has been a long and emotional year. Most of this blog was written toward the end of my personal infertility journey. For those of you (most of you) who either don’t know me, or haven’t asked about the personal details of what conceiving was like for me, let me share it with you now. Last year in April my husband and I decided that we were ready for a baby. We had been feeling ready for a while but stupidly let other people’s opinions about when we should have a baby, get in the way of our own wishes. When you want to have a baby, all of a sudden it seems like everyone decides that you shouldn’t. I have heard things like, “you aren’t ready,” “you will have to give up everything,” “don’t have kids,” “you need to finish school,” “you need to have a career before deciding to have kids,” “you are too young,” “You haven’t been married for long enough.” None of those things were appropriate to say. There is NEVER a good time to have a baby. They ALWAYS change people’s lives, and you know what? People adjust. So, if you are one of those people, who think that they are wise and tell others when to or when not to have kids. Don’t. Seriously. No one appreciates it.