Long Lost Blogger...Lazy Post

I apologize, online world, for my absence. I have been immersed in a world filled with diapers, nipple cream and the unknown. My hubby and I have been suuuuper busy preparing for the arrival of our baby girl. While that may not seem like a full time job.... it is. We have painted her room (several times), purchased and painted her furniture, assembled furniture, made artwork for her walls and have been shopping several times for essential baby items. Whew! Not to mention, I am pretty darn pregnant (8 months)
and often swollen to the point where I feel like I am a giant not-so-cute water balloon.

I came across this little gem today while scrolling around on social media... Thank you, MSN.com
.http://now.msn.com/pennsylvania-touching-pregnant-bellies-illegal
While I don't have an issue with people touching my belly, I got a good laugh out of it. I mean, it is a serious problem, but it makes me laugh that people have such troubles keeping their hands to themselves. I can honestly say, I have NEVER wanted to touch a stranger, or have actually purposely touched a stranger... or rubbed a stranger's belly. It's so weird. 

Oh, and I have been busy making apple everything. Hubby and I went to the apple orchard on Sweetest Day and I now have an entire bushel of apples. Just in case you were wondering...homemade applesauce IS actually everything you have ever dreamed of.

P.S. Don't be a d*$#. Don't forget to hand out candy on Trick or Treat night! 

Motto of the moment: Can't reach it; don't need it.

WOW! I have been slacking. You would think that with all of this time at home I would have time to type a little on the computer... but no. You would be surprised how the time gets away from you when you step up into the "Expert time waster" category.

Let's recap the time that I have spent away...
1. My hubby and I painted the nursery.
2. My hubby and I started and are currently painting the dressers for the nursery.
3. My hubby and I went to Boston.
4. I am now officially in the third trimester.
5. We got to see our baby girl in a 3d/4d ultrasound!
6. My hubby graduated with his B.S!!!
7. I am super excited about the planning of my baby showers!

So many amazing things are happening in our lives right now. It's nice sometimes to see these things in a list form because it really makes you realize how many things you have to be thankful for. 

You know, I know that sometimes I make it seem as if my life is perfect (reality check). This has really stuck with me. Not in a good way, not in a bad way. Just in a... think about it kind of way. Some days this makes me feel extremely happy and reminds me to feel thankful, because obviously I have a lot to be thankful for. Some days this makes me sad, because I feel like people think that I do not have my own personal struggles. No one has a perfect life, no one has perfect relationships and no one should have to live up to that standard, self imposed or not. Let me tell you a little bit about why my life is NOT perfect...

1. I got a cold. Now, you might this this is silly. But, when you are pregnant... being sick is the worst possible f$#@ing thing on the planet. I turned into a whiny, emotional, irritable pile of useless. I honestly don't know how my husband made it through. What a brave, brave man. I think that being sick while you are pregnant shouldn't be allowed. I mean, your body is already so busy, it's not fair to hand it another work load on top of growing a human. Seriously. I don't know how people who are sick, sick while pregnant do it. (Claps hands) Good for you!.... not meant sarcastically.

2. Pregnancy is not always cute. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant. It is my favorite thing in the whole wide world ( I think I have infertility to thank for that ). But, the sad truth is, that it isn't always pretty. You want to talk about how my face has decided that dark spots are cool? Or about how I can't reach my legs to shave them? Or how I PEED WHEN I SNEEZED the other day. Dear God. I had forgotten about the snissing. How could I forget. That has been my favorite dislikable pregnancy symptom so far. Why? Because it is so damn funny. Who doesn't laugh when someone sneezes and pees? If you don't, you have no soul.

3. I am freaking out. I am losing my mind about packing a hospital bag. Like, bat shit crazy. I have been stressing out about which kaftan is going to make me look less fat after I give birth, which face wipes will be more calming and which snacks will stop me from becoming the hulk at 3am. Do YOU know why I am freaking out? Do you? Because, I finally figured it out the other day. It is not the packing, it is not the outfit or the wipes, or the snacks. It is the fact that when I go into the hospital I will be leaving with a baby. Cold hard fact. That is the day my life officially changes forever. This girl, who loves to be prepared for EVERYTHING, cannot prepare for that. I cannot possibly prepare myself for the love I am going to feel for this little girl. I cannot prepare for the fear I am going to feel when I put her in the car to bring her home. I cannot prepare for the emotional rollercoaster I will be riding on through the whole experience. How terrifying is that!?

I think I am going to stop at three. I don't think that this blog should always be about negative things. I think that those things are enough of a peek into real life. Now, you can go back to thinking I wear my rose colored sunglasses at night. (Do you like what I did there?)

One more thing... I ordered my diaper bag off of Zappos the other night.... AND I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY FREAKING EXCITED for it to get here. Really.

Breast Friends

How do I start a post that talks A LOT about boobs. Hmm... let's let Ryan Gosling help us through this one. PART 1:

Well, as the time flies by I have been thinking a lot about how I am going to feed the baby once she arrives. There are so many options. 

Option 1: Breastfeed exclusively

Option 2: Formula feed exclusively

Option 3: Pump and bottle feed

Option 4: Breastfeed and pump/bottle feed

Option 5: Any of the above options combined in a crazy way that I have not thought of

My head is spinning. 

After a nice chat with my hubby pretty early on we decided that option 1 or option 4 would work best for us. Why not feed your child something that is FREE? Can't argue with that. Especially if I am at home with the baby the majority of the time. It only makes sense. I know, I know, many of you would argue. (insert high pitched nasally voice) "Breastfeeding or pumping isn't always an option. Tons of people can't do it." And do you know what I say to that? F- off. If it happens, it happens. It won't be the end of the world, but I am at least going to give it my best. 

Now, there is A LOT that I don't know about breastfeeding. I have heard many things from many people. But quite honestly unless you have legitimate and friendly advice for my boobs and I.... don't even go there. I don't want to hear about how hard it was for you, how sore you were, how miserable, how inconvenient it was. It is not going to change my mind and quite honestly I feel as though that crosses a line.

PART 2: I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR NEGATIVE HORROR STORIES

It is inappropriate for you to say anything negative to me about pregnancy/birth/feeding/babies at this point. I'm pretty darn committed. So keep it to yourself. It's not funny to tell me horrible things and then tell me that "you are sure that those things won't happen to me." Not cool.

On the flip side. Like I mentioned earlier. I have NO idea what I'm doing as far as breastfeeding goes. I have a lot of experience taking care of children. I can play with them, teach them, change diapers, bathe them, help them sleep, etc. But, never in my life have I fed a child with an appendage or part of my body. Ever. It's a pretty daunting task. So, if you have helpful and insightful advice on how I can make breastfeeding easier for myself and my child. Please, advise away. Message me, text me, call me or leave a comment on here. Whatever is easiest.

Back to PART 1: Jumping all over the place. Yikes. 

Well, this is initially what made me want to write this particular post. I was searching on the Internet for information about breastfeeding when I came upon a certain story. It was about how a woman was breastfeeding her infant in the food court of a mall. She was approached by several people who were very agitated and aggressive and asked her to leave or feed her baby in the bathroom.

WOAH. Seriously?

First of all... when has America EVER, EVER been 

offended by boobs. For f&%$s sake. This is 

completely ludicrous. 

Check out any playboy or Sports Illustrated (or this lady to the left.)

Second of all.... it is ILLEGAL to ask a woman to leave because she is breastfeeding her child.

My blood was boiling. Now, don't get me wrong. I think it is a little weird when someone just whips out a boob, plops that sucker out of the top of her shirt and starts feeding her child. I get a little weirded out. But,

it is her prerogative. Maybe she enjoys seeing the looks of horror as people see parts of her they hoped to God they would never see. I don't know. While I plan to breastfeed my child, I do not plan to enroll myself in the boob plopping club. A nice cover will do. If I am using that cover I will assume that I can (and will) breastfeed my baby where ever I please. (Please note, I will only be using the cover in public because I am a wimpy lame ass who is not self confident enough to whip out a breast). I WILL NEVER FEED MY CHILD IN A NASTY PUBLIC RESTROOM. That is so disgusting. Would you eat in a public restroom?!? Would you honestly take your pizza slice, head on over to the nearest public restroom, sit on the toilet and feed yourself? Hell no you wouldn't.

Since I have made the decision to breastfeed (and pump) I feel like I have a few more options than mothers who only breastfeed. Thank goodness, because I honestly have anxiety about feeding my child already. If people are that horrible to breastfeeding mothers, how horrible are they going to be to me!? I absolutely hate that this is a factor that many new mothers have to consider when deciding whether or not to breastfeed their child. It should NOT be about who they are going to offend, but rather about what choice is the best choice for their child.

Sigh. I think I may have lost all faith in humanity.

PINK!

Well friends, it has been a while. Sorry about that. I've been super busy with things in the F household! Let me start at the beginning. 

First, my hubby and I went in for our anatomy scan and quad screen on the 11th. Both were perfect and Baby F is a healthy little bug! Yay! It was so amazing to see he/she on the screen while the tech was trying to get measurements. Baby is so active, flipping and moving all over the place. At one point I'm pretty sure the tech was digging at my spine she was pushing so hard into my belly, trying to get the baby to move. I CAN'T WAIT until our next ultrasound appointment! I have a regular belly apt mid August and there is a slight chance that they will do another one then. The tech was having trouble getting all of the measurements she needed lol. If not, we are having one done in September! 

Second, we had our SEX PARTY (hehe) on the 14th. What an experience. We had the tech write down the sex of the baby and put it into an envelope. Then we gave the envelope to The Cupcake Brewer  https://www.facebook.com/CupcakeBrewer (who makes the yummiest cake I've ever had). She was so great! She made us an adorable cake to match our lips and mustache theme. She made the inside of the cake the symbolic color of the sex of the baby. Blue for boy and pink for girl. The cake was...

PINK! Hooray! Now, hopefully she doesn't grow a penis before she is born. *crosses fingers* Keep those fingers crossed until December... November... hopefully December :)

Third, I turned 25! Woo hoo! I officially feel old-ish. I was filling something out online the other day and I am no longer in the 18-24 range. I'm in the 25-31 range (sniff). Growing up is so not as cool as I thought it would be. Ugh.

Oh, back to my beautiful, smart, amazing baby girl. She has started kicking hard enough that Daddy got to feel her kick on Friday night! It was so great to be able to have him feel her for the first time. Of course, I cried. Just a little. I kept it in check. I love seeing his face light up when I tell him that she is just like him with her long legs. (I personally think she looks like him too, but it's a little early). He gets such a kick out of knowing that she is on one side of my belly or the other, that she is kicking or rolling. He was pushing on my belly (I almost typo-ed punching for pushing... that would have been interesting) yesterday and felt something like an elbow or knee! So cool.

Before I go, I have a very important announcement to make. TODAY marks the beginning of week 20! Baby girl is officially halfway cooked! I can't believe how fast it has gone and that in 20 (or less) weeks we will be meeting our new baby girl!

Now that we have reached the end of this post. I have gone back and read it again, and I feel as though I need to apologize. I was all over the place, there was lack of humor and no direction to speak of. Oh well, better luck next time!

Hahahaha....love thyself

Well, let me tell you. My mind is blown. I never thought that I would be one of those people who gets pregnant and life turns upside down. Turns out, I was wrong. First of all, I think I'm being overly dramatic (per usual these days) but, to be fair this whole pregnancy thing did come at a very life changing-y time for me. Finishing college after attending for 8 years, not working for the first time in my teen/adult life and becoming a Mom all at once is a little much to wrap my brain around.

Aaaaannnnddd whining time is over. 

Okay, now a very important question. I want you to think about this long and hard. Really use your brain. Possibly even sleep on it.
Ready?
If this blog was about how much I loved myself and how great/wonderful/fabulous/terrific my life was, would you still read it? I wouldn't. Point made.
If you sleep on this, mull it over and decide that, yes you really would keep reading... well...

Sometimes I feel that my humor is mis-interpreted. Most of the time I sound horribly pissed off, when in fact... I just think the whole thing is humerous in a twisted sort of way. There are many people who understand and there are just as many people who shake their heads. That's okay. But, I'm going to keep being me. 

So, since we have that cleared up.

Let me introduce you to my rock star of a fetus. This, ladies and gentlemen, is going to be THE smartest, most beautiful/handsome, best behaved, all around champion of a child that you and anyone else has ever seen. Are you ready?

 Are you ready for this? Only 16 weeks old and 
already rocking a winning heartbeat and doing one hell of a job growing appendages. Just look at that leg. What a beaut.

Click to hear the most awesome heartbeat ever

Ta da!

Need to smile?

If you are needing a little "pick me up" check out the video of my maltese puppy Lulu. 

On another note, I bought organic "cheetos" the other day at the grocery store because I am trying to be a little more ehh...health conscience (because the baby eats what I eat, blah, blah, blah). So, I bought organic "cheetos" which I tried today for lunch. They are NOT even close to cheetos. Organic fail. They are tasty... if you are super into Kraft Mac and Cheese. It's so weird, they taste exactly like hard Mac and Cheese. I eventually had to put them away because it was freaking me out. BUT! They still leave the yellowish orange cheese dust on your fingers, just like real cheetos. 

To be more serious, (this post is all over the place) I am having an internal conflict about looking for a job. I am really unsure if I am ready to commit. I know that a lot of people have to work while they are pregnant, I'm not saying that you shouldn't... I'm just not sure if I am ready to jump into a new position at a new place. Starting a new job is stressful enough, but also looking into childcare jobs. It gives me the heebie jeebies. I know I'm being super picky, but I was looking for something super part time and pretty non-committal. All of the places I have interviewed at are into super long term commitments and are kinda pushy when it comes to hours. Both of which, I don't know if I can bend on. I mean, when the baby comes, the baby comes. Nothing I can do there. And as for the hours... I have been in situations before where I was working more hours than I was comfortable with... and it doesn't end well. I hate to jump into a stressful situation in the middle of a pregnancy, especially when it is not necessary. 

Oh, Oh! AND. I have been looking for jobs via Craigslist....which drives me CRAZY! When posting an ad on Craigslist why don't any of these people mention what place they are representing? How am I supposed to know if I am interested if they don't say which childcare they are or where they are located!? Sigh, it gets worse. Then they email me saying they want me to come in for an interview "at my childcare center." Where the f%$@ is that!? Come on people, I shouldn't have to awkwardly ask you what place you are hiring for. Get with the program lol.

By the way, my hubby and I just celebrated our two year anniversary (he bought me a new pillow per the "second year = cotton" rule) sooo..... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US! :)

Anger and hormones... lots of hormones.

I am so angry today. This has just not been my week.

I have been feeling the full effect of pregnancy hormones lately (as my poor hubby knows) and now I will share it with all of you. 

I happen to have an app called "the bump." I downloaded this app when looking for good pregnancy apps on my iphone. I was excited to download "the bump" because I was part of The Knot when getting married and part of The Nest while purchasing our first house. I am a huge fan. I have spent countless hours on these websites and they have been invaluable to me.

Now, let me just take a second to point out.. the bitch session that is about to commence is not directed at "the bump." It is however directed to people who post on the website/app.

Okay, where should I begin? I belong to the December '13 birth club. On my app I can conveniently click right on my birth club and be taken to a forum where you can post/ blog/ respond to other December '13 moms. F$%^ that shit.

I can't stand all of those horrible people. No, that's an exaggeration. There are a lot of lovely people in my forum. However, there are a lot of people I would like to punch in the throat. Why is it when people get online they act like someone else? I know that these women would NEVER say the shit they say online to someone's face. Why do people get so damn mean on the internet? I can honestly say that if one of those rude bitches talked to me like they "talk" to some of the other people who post, it would not end well. It is like middle school vomited all over these conversations. The women are rude, demeaning and downright catty to new moms asking dumb questions. Now, let me ask...if I can not log onto my birth club and ask a
stupid pregnancy question, what is the point of the forum? I know that you readers are probably shaking your heads, not quite understanding a rudeness at hand. I really feel that you have to experience it for yourself in order to understand my level of frustration. These women gang up on poor innocent first time moms like a rabid group of high school cheerleaders. They prey on people who are looking for reassurance and only enjoy patting each other on the back for stupid shit, like eating all of the food in the entire pantry -_- or buying gigantic over the "bump" underwear. 

              

I have complained numerous times to my husband about these women. He always asks me, why don't you delete the app? To which I say, I enjoy being a part of a community of women who are going through the same things that I am. Reasonable, right? Sigh. I just can't decide what to do.

I am at a complete loss. I absolutely do NOT allow rude and mean people to hang about in my life. But, I feel that since I am just a lurker on the forum and have not posted that I can't say that I have a direct problem with anyone.

On to my next issue. Anyone who makes my blood pressure jump through the roof. IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T TALK TO ME. Just don't. I am sick and tired of people being so damn difficult and expecting me to nod and smile at them like they aren't crazy. I probably  f*&#$^& hate you right now. I currently have two lists. People I don't want to shank and people I would love to shank. Beware. I feel that this is perfectly reasonable. I am attempting to have a nice relaxing pregnancy where everything is butterflies and unicorns. Don't shit on my rainbow. Take your Barbara hating ass somewhere else.


Oh, and don't tell me I look like I am having twins... when you clearly know I am not. Do I have to make it this obvious?.....

IKEA... Survival of the Fittest

I don't know how many of you are familiar with IKEA. On a typical day in a normal frame of mind I would say it is a magical place filled with everything you could ever dream of. It is like walking into an adult sized fun house. When you walk up to the building you are taken aback by the sheer size of this mega store.

It is a bit like heaven opened and bestowed upon the lucky city of West Chester a place where one can go to find happiness. As you walk into IKEA you are immediately thrust into the stores conveyor belt like atmosphere. There are people everywhere, people who are following the lighted arrows on the floor, and you must too. As you follow these arrows you will be led through room after room of life sized model houses and household items of every shape and size. One thing that sets IKEA apart from other stores is that if you want to buy large furniture you must wait until the end. Their design is ingenious. They suck you in with dazzling lights and beautiful luxurious rooms, they make you hungry for more, and then just as you think that you simply can't take it anymore... they allow you to take the elevator downstairs. The main level of IKEA is where the magic happens. On this ground level you are able to pick, choose and touch any item you wish. By the time you get to the bottom floor you are feeling so drunk off of the high that is IKEA that you mindlessly start filling your yellow bag. Pillows, candles, vases, plates, stuffed animals, picture frames, rugs... heck yes. You will need all of it. But, it doesn't end there. After the upstairs showrooms and the downstairs shopping bonanza you are thrust into the largest most intimidating store room anyone has ever seen.

Here is where you will lose your mind. It is similar to walking into Aladdin's Cave of Wonders. There are boxes from floor to ceiling, magical boxes that hold the key to having a beautiful home. The most beautiful and well put together home anyone has ever seen. Dear God.

Now, this is not the same experience I had while recently taking a trip to IKEA while pregnant. Let me tell you, we were all lucky to make it out of that shopping experience alive. First of all, I needed to pee... like, fast. We found a bathroom tucked under some signs or stairs or something (I didn't have time to really check it out). So, I ran in. As I am pregnant lady sprinting into the bathroom, women are just standing in the way like idiots. I don't know what they were doing, but I kept right on running. Luckily, I must have looked serious because everyone moved out of my way. After finding a bathroom stall and doing my business I took a deep breath and tried to ready myself for the experience that is IKEA. I fixed my skirt, smoothed my hair and unlocked the door. Only to have an 8 year old girl shove herself into my stall with me. Feeling flustered and still a bit disoriented from the nap I took on my way to IKEA I shoved her out of my way and looked around in disbelief. Her equally obnoxious mother was standing off to the side (one of the idiots standing around, I should have known). She made some half hearted attempt to make an excuse for the girl's rude behavior, to which I gave her my best scowl. Washing my hands made me feel a little better. The cold water brought my temperature down a bit and I once again was ready to join the other IKEA-ites in our upcoming adventure. 
Welcome to IKEA. Ugh. Normally I love looking around, take in the bright lights and the dazzling scenery. Not today. When you are pregnant your world is different. My decisions and actions are now solely made based on my level of pukiness and how long its been since I last ate. I meant serious business. I had approximately one hour before I was going to need to eat again and about two hours before I lost my pregnant lady mind. It's go time. As I walked at a normal pace through IKEA I really wished I had worn a good pair of shoulder pads. The kind that football players wear. EVERYONE was in my way. GGGGAAAAHHHH. Why, someone please tell me, why do people love to stop in the middle of the aisle? Why do they bring their twelve family members and have them stop in the middle of the aisle way with them? Now I know how Alice in Wonderland felt. There were do-do birds and tweedle dee/tweedle dum twins everywhere. 
Finally we made it to the elevator. A celebratory snack was in order.

On the lower level things got desperate. I was done. I had a total lack of stamina and I was feeling the consequences. Damn it. I should have trained for this. So, to deal with my desperation I started throwing things into the cart. No time to talk, no time to debate. Just walk and toss, walk and toss. (Oddly everything we picked out that day happened to either be blue or orange... including our clothes. Weird) 
Let me quickly summarize for you in three words how it went in the Cave of Wonders. Duck and Cover. If you keep your head down and sprint you can see the finish line.
Ah. The check out lines at IKEA. There is nothing in the world quite like these check out lines. The word cluster f$%& comes to mind. There are rows and rows and rows of check out lines and people running everywhere. They are running forward, backward, sideways, diagonally. Where are they going!? It is too

late to turn back now, even they must know that. Oh, and I forgot to mention the children. Gah, the children. Not only are there large adults running around  like children there are also children running around like children. Getting yourself securely into a check out line is like playing a life or death game of Frogger. Some people (who are nicer than I am) try to dodge these people. I do not. I put my head down, get a firm grip on my cart and do not stop until I reach my destination. Too bad for anyone in my way. 
Oh, so you've made it to the check out... you can see the exit doors and you think you are in the clear, right? WRONG! Pay attention pregnant people. DO NOT BREATHE THE AIR. I'm not kidding. You will throw up. After making it through the whole store without killing anyone, peeing only twice and stopping for a snack once, I almost tossed my cookies 10 feet from the exit. The air near the exit of IKEA is toxic. It is a mixture of cinnamon rolls, hot dogs and death. Run. Just run and don't stop. Take those precious purchases of yours and get the hell out.

CONGRATULATIONS! You made it through IKEA. (With or without your husband) Sometimes you have to cut your losses :)

Our Baby Journey: Part 3

You made it to the end of the story!

At this point you are probably thinking, drama, drama, drama. Yes, that is true. But, what part of a quest to create a new life isn’t dramatic? After taking the shots and the trigger I developed OHSS. I gained 10 pounds of fluid around my abdomen in about 3 days. My skin was stretched, my muscles were stretched and I looked like I was 5 months pregnant. After several days of feeling like hell we called the doctor’s office. They told me to rest -_- Thanks a f@#%$^& lot. So, I rested. After about a week of severe pain we called again and they scheduled me an ultrasound appointment. Oh! I forgot! One of the most important parts! 

Forgive me.

When you do this infertility treatment, they also fail to inform you of the time commitment. Every other day for two weeks I had to either have blood drawn or have an ultrasound done. Not the happy ultrasounds either. We’re talking up the you know what. 

Back to my final ultrasound during my OHSS. Now as I explain what is about to happen, keep in mind what I just told you. I had been going in from April 1^st to April 20^th and getting either blood drawn or ultrasounds done EVERY OTHER DAY. When I went in to my ultrasound on April 20^th I was hoping someone would find answers to why I had OHSS so bad and why I felt like crap. 

The LAST (if I could capitalize this more, I would) LAST thing I was expecting was for my doctor to start the ultrasound, look at me and say, “That’s a pregnancy!” Um, I’m sorry what? Then he asked me when I started my treatment. I told him it had been a couple of weeks, but not long enough for a pregnancy to be showing up on an ultrasound. He is poking around and measures the little blur on the machine and finally tells me, “That’s a 6 week pregnancy.” At which point I told him to shut up. Really. I think I was in shock. I told him that it wasn’t funny and that he better not be joking. Then they handed me a picture of the little squiggle, said congratulations and showed me the door.

Walking out of that appointment I can honestly say my mind was blown. My mind had never been blown like that before. It was the weirdest feeling. I told my hubby he was going to be a daddy in the parking lot. Not my finest moment. But, like I said, I was in shock.

We were SO excited and SO happy. We were also a little confused. How could this have happened? How could we have gone in every other damn day for blood work or an ultrasound and NO ONE knew I was pregnant the whole time. The kicker is that I was pregnant at my first infertility appointment. I was pregnant the whole time. Wtf. Now, it is not entirely their fault for not knowing. I took an at home pregnancy test before starting the Menopur and it was negative. But still. Come on.

So, now I am most definitely pregnant. We went in again at 8 weeks and saw the baby wiggling around. It moved its little arms and legs for us and its heart was beating away. We are so lucky. (I am going to cry writing this) We are beyond lucky. I don’t know how or why it happened, but thank God it did.

Now keep in mind, not every one's story ends the way that mine does. Next time you ask a couple when they are planning on having a baby, why they haven't started a family yet, or what they are waiting for... think about this. Think about how you may be making them feel. Have a little tact. Please :)

Our Baby Journey: Part 2

This is part 2, if you are confused.... go back and read part 1. Duh :)

Back in April we decided we were ready to start trying. So, I went off of my birth control and waited for something to happen. Nothing happened. Let me get graphic, no ovulation and therefore no period. This went on for several months. After getting an ovulation test and confirming that ovulation was not occurring we decided to look into it further. Now, most people do not have amazing OBGYN’s like I do. Most OB’s make you wait a year before coming in with infertility issues. Mine, was great. We went in after six months (which seemed like an eternity) and he was very receptive to the issue. He suggested we start trying a progesterone pill to induce a period. I tried it. It didn’t work. So, we went back in and he suggested we take the plunge into infertility treatments. We agreed that it was something we wanted to try. He started us a 50 mg of clomid and was very optimistic. Every single month I got my hopes up, and every single month I didn’t ovulate. After the 50 didn’t work we went up to 100 and 150. After trying the 150 with no results he suggested we go to an infertility specialist because he thought we needed a more aggressive treatment. All we saw were dollar signs.

That brings us to March of this year. We went in, met with our new doctor and he guided us into the overwhelming world of infertility medication (for real). This stuff is no joke. After our first appointment we were excited and optimistic to be trying a new medication. We went home and got on the computer because you can’t just get this stuff from any old pharmacy. Oh, no. You need to research and find the cheapest pharmacy. After about a half an hour of research we were a bit discouraged. The prices were outrageous and most of the decent prices we found were from Canadian pharmacies (which we were not allowed to order from.) Deciding to bite the bullet and order the medicine, as expensive as it was, felt a little like walking the plank. Thankfully for us we had a great representative at MDRX who clued us in to Alexander’s pharmacy. That, ladies and gentlemen is who you need to talk to. Your pharmacy will price match with Alexander’s or you can order directly from them. Don’t get me wrong, it was still thousands of dollars, but it was a better price than the other places. Once we had the medicine ordered we took the “shot classes” and learned what my daily torture would be like for the next several weeks. Then the medicine came and I did about two weeks of shots of Menopur with a trigger shot of Novarel. What a horrid experience. I am not going to sugar coat this. It was an awful experience. During the shots I was an emotional wreck and after the shots I was in so much pain I didn’t know what to do with myself. There are several things they don’t tell you about this medicine ahead of time (probably because most people wouldn’t do it.)

 1. Menopur burns like you are injecting liquid fire into your leg. Battery acid if you will. For me, I found that injecting in my leg instead of my stomach, mixing the medicine a couple of hours before you inject, icing the injection sight and rubbing the medicine in to disperse it helped a ton.

2. Mix the Menopur with more dilutent. I used double the amount of dilutent they initially told me to. Especially when I had to up my dosage of Menopur and put more into the syringe. You don’t want that stuff concentrated. Yikes.

3. Novarel doesn’t burn. It just creates a softball sized lump in your thigh that gets hot and hurts like f#$% for a week or two. Oh, and a red rash. Yay.

4.  Menopur and Novarel can cause OHSS. What is OHSS, you say? Well, it is ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome. In simple terms, your ovaries swell up, you retain ridiculous amounts of fluid in your abdomen , you can’t breathe, and you want to die it hurts so bad……. and organ failure, if you’re really unlucky.

Our Baby Journey: Part 1

So this is one of those blog posts that you shouldn’t read if you don’t want to know the truth. There will be several of these as I post my story. But, let me explain why I feel like I need to put it all out there. When you are dealing with infertility it is often not something that you want to talk about with the people closest to you. For my husband and me, we felt that it would take away from the reveal when we actually were successful. Also, there is a feeling of embarrassment and inadequacy that comes hand in hand with infertility. That is hard. Really, really, hard to deal with.

This is really hard to explain. I’m sure anyone who has been through a difficult illness or something similar can understand. When dealing with infertility you start to realize that there is this whole world of people who are dealing with infertility as well. We used the Internet as a resource for most of our information, because there was no one to talk to. Even on the Internet the information was scarce. People just don’t want to share. When you are in the middle of this whole mess you hear about people who have stories that are more positive than yours and you think “they don’t have any clue what I’m going through” and you hear about people who are struggling so much more than you. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, you turn your head away from those people. You don’t want to acknowledge their struggles, because if you acknowledge their struggles you acknowledge that it could happen to you. You might have a long, difficult, heart breaking struggle and never end up successful. It’s a lot to swallow.

It has been a long and emotional year. Most of this blog was written toward the end of my personal infertility journey. For those of you (most of you) who either don’t know me, or haven’t asked about the personal details of what conceiving was like for me, let me share it with you now. Last year in April my husband and I decided that we were ready for a baby. We had been feeling ready for a while but stupidly let other people’s opinions about when we should have a baby, get in the way of our own wishes. When you want to have a baby, all of a sudden it seems like everyone decides that you shouldn’t. I have heard things like, “you aren’t ready,” “you will have to give up everything,” “don’t have kids,” “you need to finish school,” “you need to have a career before deciding to have kids,” “you are too young,” “You haven’t been married for long enough.” None of those things were appropriate to say. There is NEVER a good time to have a baby. They ALWAYS change people’s lives, and you know what? People adjust. So, if you are one of those people, who think that they are wise and tell others when to or when not to have kids. Don’t. Seriously. No one appreciates it.

Vacation Time!

Between dishes, laundry, spider killing and Criminal Minds I have made sure to leave time to blog one last time before vacation. That's right, VACATION! Woo hoo! Only 1 day 14 hours and 41 minutes stand between me and the gorgeous beaches of Riviera Maya. Although I am super excited to go on vacation, travelling out of the country always gives me a little bit of anxiety. I always read the stories about tourists being abducted and held for ransom. Fingers crossed, this doesn't happen as often as everyone seems to think it does. Lately, when I tell people I am heading to Mexico for vacation their first reaction is "Oh, are you sure that's a good idea. (Insert horrid thing that happened in Mexico here) But, I'm sure you'll be fine..."
-_- Seriously. What is wrong with you people. On a brighter note. I am still packing. Not over packing, just packing. I have given some serious thought to what needs packed for this trip and I feel a little more prepared this time compared to the last time we left the country. This time I have an entire bottle of anti-diarrheal medicine. Gross? No, what's gross is not leaving the bathroom for the entire week you are on vacation. Not going to happen to this girl. I have also carefully chosen appropriate bathing suits, sunscreen and cover ups. Bringing everything else is optional. 

Leaving on vacation is hard work. I don't care what anyone says. You have to clean your house, wash all of your laundry, pack, clean out your fridge, do all of your dishes and make sure there isn't any trash in the house. Who knows who might be in your house while you are gone, you can't leave it a mess! Not to mention it sucks coming home from vacation and cleaning your dirty house. So, here I am with one day left cleaning like a mad woman. Until I found the spider, that is. I just don't do spiders. Just looking at one sends me into a shivering fit of the heebie jeebies like you've never seen before. It's not rational, but it happens. Right before writing this blog I spotted a spider on the wall. Did I mention I have an unbelievable spider-dar? So, I spotted this disgusting thing on the wall, got up slowly, went over to get my husbands shoes (not mine, ew) and went back over to kill the spider. When I got the shoe close it fell off of the wall and into the crack between the floor boards and wall. Dammit! So, I put up the shoes like a barricade and sat down to wait. Finally, the spider climbed back up the wall, I got up off of the couch, picked up a shoe, went to smoosh him, and s*%$ he is GONE. Like, gone with the wind, gone. Never to be seen again. Which I can't say I really mind. Except... I think this is the same spider I spotted in the bathroom about a month ago and got away from me then too. Ugh. I'm sure we will meet again
 :(

So, what have we learned from this blog, you ask? 1. Pack anti- diarrheal medicine when leaving the country (You will need it). 2. Do not EVER turn your back on a spider.

The grass is ALWAYS greener

Well, it's true ladies and gentlemen. The grass is always greener on the other side. I am officially done with my student teaching and school. Now I am a professional stay at home person. What I always wanted, right? If it is what I always wanted... then why am I SO BORED? I thought that once I was at home and had lots of time on my hands that I would be able to put myself on a schedule. Our vacation next week is making a mockery of that plan. I feel like I can't commit to anything because as soon as I start it will be ending. I have a whole list of things that need done around the house before the end of the year! I haven't done a single one of those things. And do you know what? I like working, I actually like working. Weird, yes. Crazy, yes. But, I like the stability and consistency it brings to my life. I am not cut out to be a free spirit. The problem is that I can't find the perfect job. There is always something "off" and I am unhappy in my new position before I am 6 months in. This is extremely frustrating to me considering I am outrageously in debt thanks to my student loans. Thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who keeps this whole circus act up and running since I have peaced out on life. Hopefully by the end of May you all will understand where I am coming from and why I have been feeling so purpose-less. Until then, you have to put up with whiney woe-is-me posts. Sigh.

If I have to suffer through daytime TV and the Kardashians.... so do you.

In case you need a visual. Here I am, feet up.

Almost at the finish line....

This is my last blog post for my online class. After this I am flying solo. Whew! This class has been fun, but challenging. Especially if you wait to do everything at the last minute... like me. I don't intend on waiting until the last minute. But, then I look at the class assignment requirements and I'm like, Oh snap!

So, that brings me to this post. I don't know if I have to do another one for this class or not. But, better safe than sorry. I am excited to turn in my electronic portfolio. I think it's really awesome! I have put all of my projects from the whole semester on this website and added my own commentary to it. I think that if you were an educator looking for a website related to weather/seasons in Ohio and resources... you would be very excited!

Spring Break Woes

Once again I am posting about my online class. This time however... it is not going so well. I has every intention of getting all of my work done over spring break, but here we are, and I'm still working on finishing my project due this week. I don't know why, but I am seriously struggling with this movie project. At first I was over thinking it while I was trying to come up with an idea. Then I slept on it and decided what I was going to do. I found a weather graph online and I am going to do a modeling of how you can incorporate the weather graph into your morning circle time to cover one of the science standards. I would go into detail, but you non-teachery folks are probably bored to tears already. Now I am lost as to whether there needs to be a written part to my assignment. I'm probably trying too hard...again. But, I've got a good grade going so far and I want to keep it that way! 

I have to confess something. I am feeling very guilty about this blogging. Tonight I am not on my game. I have had an incredibly stressful week and I have about had it with life. I was so excited about spring break. I actually wrote a list about all of the fun and awesome things I was going to do during my break. I did not get to do a single thing on my list -_- I have had a week filled with homework, classes, appointments and crap I did not want to do. Uuuuuggghhh. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that at the end of April I will be a free woman. Thank god. I am going to veg out like no one has ever vegged out before. Until then blogging friends....suffer with me.


1 good thing about spring break : I've gotten some good snuggle time with this guy :)

To run or not to run.

Caution: If you enjoy running- don't read this post. 

I happen to despise running. I envy the people who get on the treadmill at the gym and glisten lightly as they bounce like a damn leprechaun on the treadmill for no less than 5 miles at a time. Ugh. My reality is that I can't even talk myself into GOING to the gym. On the rare occasion I actually talk myself into going, I end up looking like a sweaty hairball having a heart attack. I. try. so. hard. But, I am just not cut out for running. I start out ambitious and in great spirits, after .5 a mile I am feeling the burn, .75 of a mile and I start wishing I had a gun, 1 mile and I turn into a sort of red, sweating, angry, gasping fish/hulk. Not cute. 

Sooooo... who signed up to do The Color Run Columbus.... this girl! Yeah....

Close, but no cigar

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the epitome of being married. No, I am not comparing being married to shitting on the toilet. Being married is all about the placement of the toilet paper. Notice, there is a roll of toilet paper. Notice, there is a toilet paper roll. -_- One must simply take the toilet paper 2 more inches to the left, pull out the toilet paper roll bar and insert the fresh roll. But, is that a husbands job.... nooooooo. Now, don't get me wrong. I think, you think I'm overreacting. This is the SECOND time this week that the toilet paper roll has been placed two inches shy of where it needs to be. This is definitely part of my husband's master plan which involves me losing my mind and him claiming a life insurance policy. Or, this could go in my favor and he doesn't wish to live past his 27 years of life. We shall see.

On another note..... I am getting really damn sick of seeing certain pins on pinterest. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS. I think that is what I should have named my blog. Damn. Too late now! I really, really, really despise the woman who INSISTS that she can consistently buy groceries for her family of 6 for 50 bucks a week. It. Makes. Me. Crazy. Nothing like reading something like that to make you feel like a failure. Do you know how many people I cook for?! Two! Do you know how much it costs me every time I go to the grocery store?! A heck of a lot more than 50 measly dollars. I want to know who this woman thinks she is making these crazy claims. I tried spending only 50 dollars, I really did. But, you know what? My food tasted like shit, I didn't have options, my cravings were making me crazy and I had to buy a bunch of crap to keep the cost down. SO SHUT IT woman who spends 50 dollars per week. You can kiss my well fed a$$!

Blog chicka wow wow

Alrighty, you blog following hooligans.... here is my latest post. I have to be honest. I haven't worked on my modules in quite some time. I look at them, leave, look at them again, think about them, come back and about 1 week-ish or so later I actually get my butt in gear and work on something. Sigh. I like to think that I am a productive person and a hard worker, but the truth hurts. Who has time for homework and student teaching and blogging anyway!? Not this girl. So, back to the module work and google docs. I totally understand why google docs would be a part of this class. It is a program that so many people use, how could it not be a homework assignment!? Now that I use google docs I can share my list making with my hubby. Muahahahaha... there is no escaping the honey do list now! As for kidspiration... I have to say, I am not a fan. I tried to like kidspiration, I really did. I felt like it was more trouble than it was worth. I mean, if you were a teacher (not a first year teacher) and made one of those every so often, and kept them year after year. I might be on board. However, I know that some of the links I used in mine probably won't be around for years to come. So, while it is a great thought... I would have to pass.

First Post EVER

Well. This is my FIRST TIME BLOGGING. That's right folks. I was a blogging virgin. Not any more.

As much as I would love to enlighten you about all of the funny yet twisted things that occur in my daily life.... this blog post must be about my class. I need those points!

So, let's start at the beginning. First, I had to write about Google Earth and Wordle. Google earth looks really cool, I enjoy using it for my own amusement, and has a lot of options for usage in the classroom. However, it is pretty confusing. I would not recommend using it in an elementary school classroom unless you are the one doing the navigating and your students just have to watch. Wordle was very cool. I could see using it more as a student than as a teacher. Students could type their spelling words and print them out to bring in to turn in as homework. That list would be so much cooler to look at than the traditional spelling list.

THEN I had to return to my twitter account, create a blog and subscribe to a blog reader. First of all... I had no idea what a blog reader was. No idea. So, I decided to start by creating a blog. Which, I thought I did. Until I tried to log into my non existent blog and realized I signed up for Google+. Fail. Once I got my life together I actually started a blog. (Duh. This one.) After the blog I subscribed to a blog reader and now I am following a myriad of bloggers. Students, celebrities, random people that I thought were in my class that weren't. But hey! I tried. Let's talk about my twitter account. I hate twitter. Twitter and I have a hate/hate relationship. I. don't. get. it. People annoy me when they post tweets every 5 seconds (literally.) I apologize if that is you, but seriously... no one wants to read about you watching the Grammy's every 5 seconds.

Next up is Module 5. Glogster. I have heard about Glogster, I have watched people use Glogster, I have 0 experience with Glogster. We will see how this goes...